Recently I ran into a marriage profile (created at some matrimony.com) of a relative of mine.The profile was created by his parents. It talked about the candidate more in terms of his BMI (Body Mass Index)- 5 feet 10 inches , 68kg weight , medium complexioned , 29 year old (working is implicit) from a reputed family (wonder if Indian constitution has any specification for reputed family), father gazetted officer ..Looking for a good looking girl , age 22-23, any qualification from a good to do family. Interestingly, in the same .com I ran into the profile of a classmate of mine whose profile, also created by his parents, looked exactly the same. (Wonder how a prospective bride would figure out the difference). Well, I spoke to few of my and figured out that they just don't have the freedom to choose the girl/boy they want to get married to because it is a family decision, which they have to merely adhere to.
Right from the time I can remember, everytime I select a dress to wear , I am asked to revisit my decision and wear something that would be apt from a social perspective. Recently , my husband and I went to my mother's home town where a few relatives nagged us both for our poor dressing sense. Everyone asked me if my husband has nothing better to wear than a track pant and if I didn't have anything better than an old kurta apart from the other things like where is all the jewelery?
There have been numerous occasions when I have not been able to express my religious beliefs . I'd rather call them my non-religious and agnostic beliefs. I can put forth thousands of messy incidents where I have been advised , admonished, emotionally blackmailed and subsequently cursed for not practicing rituals , not visiting places of religious importance or for even expressing in public that I don't particularly believe in adhering to a religion or that I don't believe in God. It is a choice that the Constitution allows me to decide and practice but often the community or society doesn't.
I agree that certain inquiries act as directions . However people hardly ever realize the importance of accepting people as adults who have independent thought process and decision making capabilities.Every individual has the right to express their identity whether it is in the way they dress or causes they wish to support.
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ReplyDeleteKK(hope its ok, got used calling u that since college i guess),
ReplyDeleteI think that for the older generations(our parents)its very difficult to see eye to eye with us on certain matters no matter how much we try. So i have given up trying. just let it pass and ignore it and may be give in just to avoid all the drama. i am sure we as parents will be more accomodating of our kids views..
My husband is of the idea that 15-20 years from now, its quite possible that kids say that information is available all around that there's no point going to school and waste their time and that could get on as a trend.Wonder what would be our response to that at that time.
ReplyDeletegood that you changed the page design. The other design used to hurt the eye. :) . Now more convenient reading. :)
ReplyDeletebtw, good work with your blogs! its rather sad how much other people try to take control over your lives and disrupt the rhythm. It would be best to have a mind which just accepts the third party comments as food for thought (take the good and leave the bad out of it) and nothing else. Keep up the good work Divya!
ReplyDeleteIt is after following your blog I feel perfectly normal about myself. It is very common that women who brave to defy conventions are admonished as the "Thala Therichu Pennu" or "Thandedi" and all other adjectives that would ideally boil down to one quality and that is rebellious. It took me 33 years to find the right guy who was able to accept my definition of "BEING NORMAL" and not try to change anything about me.
ReplyDelete