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Sunday, April 10, 2011


Five days into writing blogs , people have started asking me why I feel downtrodden.Some asked me if I had my PMS. Well, I do feel downtrodden and I think each one of us should. I felt downtrodden when I read the census report that came in the paper the whole of last week that had multiple articles that talked about the deteriorating sex ratio of India. Even if we go with the best figures, its a mere 950 women out of every 1000 men. So in a country with more than a billion people, that would be 50 million women missing and where did all of them go ? They all were seen as foetus in trash bins across the country.

When Warren Buffet visited India last week, he made a statement that, sadly half of the population of India ( i e women) do not have freedom of expression. Ever wondered why he said so ? I feel downtrodden every time I use a public transport and fear the plight of getting molested by pervert men (this happens to even young school girls) and whenever this happens I am too shocked to even respond or to even tell it somebody.I feel downtrodden when I have to work extra hard in personal and professional life to demonstrate that my skills and capability are at par with men. I feel downtrodden when people ask me what was I to gain in life reading books and increasing knowledge (at the end of the day I just have to compromise and settle to the requirements of a family life). I felt downtrodden when my maid came home one day all soaked in kerosene , when her drunkard husband attempted to put her on fire (this is very common among domestic helps) and there was nothing I could do about it. So the question I have to ask the person who asked me this is "Inspite of all these don't you feel downtrodden? "

So when you get treated like this for 29 long years, one day you just wake up to hit the wall and say "That's it". It is high time people knew that there is an urgent need for change , for improvements, for contemplating on practices that are obnoxious for social growth.

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  1. Divya, thanks for taking up this mission through the blog. You are speaking all of our minds - some like me who have been thinking about and wanting to do this but just haven't got down to it.

    Maybe this will lead to something that will make a positive difference. Kudos.

  2. First, am so glad you have started blogging actively about these issues - while we live in times where there is constitutional and legal equality, we are still far away from a world that can boast of on-the-ground social equality.

    I agree though with the question posed to you that led to this post, albeit for a very different reason. I know the person who asked you about feeling "downtrodden" perhaps did so out of misguided intepretation, or even worse - fear of acknowledging the truth of our social ecosystem. But, I believe you should not feel downtrodden for the simple reason that the years that I have known you (and as evident from your blog posts), you refuse to be tread down upon or subjugated! Way to go, and I hope it inspires many a person facing inequality of one form or another.

  3. Thanks Neelima,DanVirion for your comments. It really keeps me going.I genuinely hope that more people read these blogs and atleast spent a minute thinking about it.If not anything, it should spread some awareness.

  4. I was a born down trodden. I say so because I caused a big disappointment to my father for being a second girl child. I am still confused as to how I escaped an abortion in an era where sex determination was not illegal. Perhaps my Mom's determination to have me is responsible for me remaining alive to write a response to this fiery blog of yours. I didnt have to take any public transport to feel down trodden as the feeling was right there all around me all the time when my father held my Mom responsible for dumping 2 girl children on him. It was my mother who taught me to use this as a fire to ignite a determination within me to prove myself instead of perishing in it. So right from a young age I had to fight my way out of a Male Chauvinist Society to establish my basic right to live my life as a HUMAN BEING !! I hope our offspring will see a better world and live their lives as Human Beings instead of being discriminated as Male or Female.

    1. First , let me applaud you for being candid. The most common comment I get for my blogs(which generally comes via mails) is -"Did you have to be so outspoken ? Did you have to specify the people involved?".. About two female children in a row, as far as the Indian society is concerned, it is the worst combination of offspring parents can have :). I have heard stories of all the prejudice and discrimination that my mother went through because she has 2 daughters. In fact , all the other relatives I know of, who had first two daughters went on till they had a son to get some relief.

      My maid has 3 kids- 2 daughters followed by a son. She obviously cannot afford 3 children but couldn't live with the burden of 2 daughters. So she has left her second daughter at her relatives place and meets her occasionally. Her elder daughter is useful at baby sitting her son. My maid has many a time expressed sympathy towards my parents for not having a son and as I expect my first child she shared a secret tip with me on how I can ensure that my baby is a boy (According to her, if you sleep to the left after you are pregnant , you can have a son and that's apparently how she successfully had one). I can of course dismiss her thoughts thinking she is uneducated and illiterate but furious was I when relatives advise me to pray to have a son.(A chilled glass of water just cannot cool the associated frustration!!)

      Come to think of it why would parents want to have daughters ? For eg. my parents had to sponsor and take complete responsibility of my engagement and wedding ..not to mention all the money that need to be spent on the jewellery and formalities. Now we can always argue that all these can be skipped but parents are so damn scared of ill-treatment that they would rather take a hefty loan and make these available than take the risk of arranging a low profile wedding.