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Sunday, July 1, 2012

To my Little Sweetheart

I  recently read a mother's day article which talked about how a woman goes through extreme pain (which is equivalent of 20 bones getting fractured ) to give birth to her baby. 20 of my bones haven't got fractured at the same time. So I wouldn't know the associated pain..but yes giving birth pains..for me it was like someone cutting my lower back with an axe every minute for 8 straight hours before the doctor decided to tear me up and pull the baby.But that's not the point.The article said that a mother's love is equivalent to all that pain and sacrifices she puts up...Now wait a sec..whom are we fooling here? I want to tell my 5 week old little boy that

My dear,

I decided to have you for my own pleasure (and that of my husband's)..some ppl have children because they are bored with their lives and want some activity..Some others have because they have a ailing family life and they hope to revive it .Most have it because of social/parental pressure.others have it because they are supposed..very few others have it because they think too much about the propagation of the human race..and a fairly large number have it accidentally.

You were heavier than most Indian babies.In the last scan you weighed 3.7 kg and it was way too difficult to walk with you in my tummy..but I want to let you know that tall parents have heavier babies and I was eating too much of food anyways (Amul ice cream, Amul milk Shake etc) and the weight wasnt your fault .So you dont have to feel guilty for that too..

It was way too difficult to deliver you..The pain was so prolonged and extreme that I thought it was better to die..and I didn't tolerate all that pain because I loved you (whether I love you or not is a different thing altogether not to be put into a directly proportional equation )..The fact is the doc never let me take epidural or go for C-section till the very end..All I remember yelling in the last few hours of my labor is "Doctor..epidural..pleeeeeese doctor..give me epidural" and "Can we do a c-section?Pleeeeease??"So I am not going to pester you for the rest of your life for all the drama I went through to give birth to you..

I don't remember the last time I slept for 9 hours straight..well it was almost 9 months back..nowadays I hardly get time to sleep, eat or even use toilet..Basic things like cutting my nails seems like a luxury..all my time goes cleaning your diaper, putting you to sleep and feeding you..
As of now these are the only sacrifices I can think of but I am sure as months pass by, there are going to be graver ones..

But my dear , I want to tell you that please don't confuse my love with my sacrifices...I hope I am able to remind myself everyday that 20-30 years down the lane I don't burden you with all the stories of all the labor pain and sleepless night sacrifices I made for you..The fact is I made all that just for my happiness..and sadly you had no choice in the entire matter..

1 comment:

  1. One would think that passing out of a university with a Bachelors, Masters or a Doctorate we have accompolished THE most important feat of our lives. and later with a job, we think THIS is the best. And later moving into marriage, we think now I am finally free from my parents rules.

    Wait.. its not all over. Then, its when we have children that the tables begin to turn. Now, we have to learn once again what is to be a baby, what it is to be patient, to watch each word we speak and each action we do because like it or not, our child will absorb everything they see and hear from us and we realise that we are responsible for their spiritual, emotional, physical and mental well being. Most parents take care of the physical needs and forget the rest.

    We mothers need to learn, to smile coz our child loves to see our smile ; to play with scraps of paper, to build towers with little bricks, to enjoy repeating a word 30 times till your toddler decides to go for the next word; to sing songs in the dead of the night to your little one, to clean up his messes after each meal, to go the toilet with a little one in your arms and that blaming the father for not be able to look after your little one while you were asleep does not really make any sense and is not worth it.

    We are never really done with learning are we?