Though I was always aware of it, the experiences in the past few months helped me realize how much people alienate emotional health. When we talk of health , it is always the physical health.Talking about one's emotional or mental health is like making a fuss about nothing. I recollect the time I visited one of my female relatives at a hospital and found her in a state of depression.The doctor referred her to a psychiatrist ; her husband immediately stepped in and said ,"No, that won't be required.She's absolutely fine'. Meeting a psychologist or a psychiatrist still considered a hush affair , something that should be performed only if one is totally insane.
An older friend of mine told me that after the delivery of one of babies , she was suffering from severe post natal depression(which is not uncommon) and her exact words were -"I did not even tell my husband". When she said that I was too young to understand post natal depression but now i keep wondering why she felt it was anything to be hid at all.
Couple of years back, I attended a training at work on Emotional Intelligence , which talked about different concepts like emotional self-awareness , emotional quotient etc. I am happy that even corporate environment consider EI of significance during professional interactions. While I was in my 20s (when most of the people I interacted with were also in their 20s), I have met many people esp. men , who took pride in projecting themselves as emotionless 'cool' entities and heard them tell their prospective girl friends how they prefer to be in casual fuss-less relationships .The same men (being my friends) have often confided in me their emotional turmoils / conflicts.It could be because there is a general perception that if you are emotional , you are weak or less manly. In fact, whenever I have discussed my emotional problems with relatives and friends, they have many a time told me that they feel I am emotionally unstable and should consider doing some yoga.;the problem as I perceive it clearly seems to be that people , probably due to the general social conditioning , do not admit that emotions and mental health are is an integral part of one's being .
Many years back , an older cousin of mine had visited us and in one of the conversation he had with my parents , he asked my mother- "Do you think you give your daughter what she wants?". My mother went on to explain about all the food , dress, books and other things that my parents make available for me. He listened to all that and finally asked the question again -"Do you give her what SHE WANTS?" I was only 15 years old then but that sentence was novel to me and kept me thinking.I wondered if that was possible at all..In fact , I realized then that even though I was provided with many things , I was never asked what I wanted !
A distressed friend of mine explained to me how her parents wouldn't let her get married to a man of her choice. I asked if there was anything wrong about the man. Apparently the man was a very good person who has been standing by her side through ups and downs but the only reason for rejecting him is that her parents felt that there was no reason she had to find a husband for herself when they were alive. Well, there's nothing too surprising about this case. Most parents around seem to give more importance to the standard traditional processes that involve social acceptance rather than thinking about the emotional happiness of their offspring. In most cases, there is hardly any effort put in by parents to understand the likes or dislikes of their children or how much an action or disapproval could affect the emotional health and trust of their children.
Emotional health is too vast a topic to be covered in a small article like this. But I sincerely hope that over the years , society as a whole would understand and appreciate how much integral it is to one's existence and how emotional happiness is the key to any successful relationship.
An older friend of mine told me that after the delivery of one of babies , she was suffering from severe post natal depression(which is not uncommon) and her exact words were -"I did not even tell my husband". When she said that I was too young to understand post natal depression but now i keep wondering why she felt it was anything to be hid at all.
Couple of years back, I attended a training at work on Emotional Intelligence , which talked about different concepts like emotional self-awareness , emotional quotient etc. I am happy that even corporate environment consider EI of significance during professional interactions. While I was in my 20s (when most of the people I interacted with were also in their 20s), I have met many people esp. men , who took pride in projecting themselves as emotionless 'cool' entities and heard them tell their prospective girl friends how they prefer to be in casual fuss-less relationships .The same men (being my friends) have often confided in me their emotional turmoils / conflicts.It could be because there is a general perception that if you are emotional , you are weak or less manly. In fact, whenever I have discussed my emotional problems with relatives and friends, they have many a time told me that they feel I am emotionally unstable and should consider doing some yoga.;the problem as I perceive it clearly seems to be that people , probably due to the general social conditioning , do not admit that emotions and mental health are is an integral part of one's being .
Many years back , an older cousin of mine had visited us and in one of the conversation he had with my parents , he asked my mother- "Do you think you give your daughter what she wants?". My mother went on to explain about all the food , dress, books and other things that my parents make available for me. He listened to all that and finally asked the question again -"Do you give her what SHE WANTS?" I was only 15 years old then but that sentence was novel to me and kept me thinking.I wondered if that was possible at all..In fact , I realized then that even though I was provided with many things , I was never asked what I wanted !
A distressed friend of mine explained to me how her parents wouldn't let her get married to a man of her choice. I asked if there was anything wrong about the man. Apparently the man was a very good person who has been standing by her side through ups and downs but the only reason for rejecting him is that her parents felt that there was no reason she had to find a husband for herself when they were alive. Well, there's nothing too surprising about this case. Most parents around seem to give more importance to the standard traditional processes that involve social acceptance rather than thinking about the emotional happiness of their offspring. In most cases, there is hardly any effort put in by parents to understand the likes or dislikes of their children or how much an action or disapproval could affect the emotional health and trust of their children.
Emotional health is too vast a topic to be covered in a small article like this. But I sincerely hope that over the years , society as a whole would understand and appreciate how much integral it is to one's existence and how emotional happiness is the key to any successful relationship.
Very true said in your words, but I think as an individual also we ignore our emotional health. This is not at all our priority.This is not a priority for any one at least in the society we live in or I live in.
ReplyDeleteWell what we can do is that we provide that support to people who matters for us in our life the most.
Thanks,
Sumeet